Sides

I am usually on the wrong side of the issue. Or should I say, the unpopular side. I have serious convictions and have a need to be right (heard). I thought sticking to my guns would be easier as I got older. You know, not caring what anyone else thinks, etc. The truth is, it's harder. My feelings get hurt a lot easier and I'm just tired. People are mean and mean spirited for no good reason at all.

I now think the fairest words printed in the paper are "they were not available for comment". It doesn't really matter what anyone says, because their words are going to be twisted and used in a way that will usually negate the very essence of truth.

I'm embarrassed, truth be told. My pride is hurt and I feel like an idiot. No one will remember that I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal, except me. And probably my mother - who thinks everything I say is fine anyway.

Let it go is what Bob is telling me. God love him, he has no clue what is going to happen next and he still loves me.

Maybe one day I will learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe.

The desire to write...

...is really strong, but usually comes in waves. I'd rather it be a different situation, but it's not. I'm not a writer, I'm a wannabe. There's an assignment on the table from my book club. Write a piece about myself to read or be read at the next club meeting. Now it's time to admit that finding time to write at all is something I haven't committed myself to, ever. Okay, well, now that I'm being honest.

Truly, writing can be so cathartic and I should do it more, if only to help work through some of the tangle of thoughts in my head. Seriously, it doesn't stop. I've put to much on my plate, just like most women and I'm not being totally effective at most it.

That said, I'm glad that I have the problem of too much to do. The alternative would be so boring.